Here's something I wrote, I guess about one and a half years ago, after I'd been through a very painful experience, and had been in a bit of a mess for some time and got involved with and made a big nasty knot out of a relationship or two. It's harsh - very hard on myself, having a stern word with myself - but my god it hurts like truth, and I think it marks the start of the bone-twistingly painful journey to the (hopefully) slightly better person I am today.*
They are rules for myself, I am reprimanding myself, I am suffering a great deal, I am furious with myself, I've been badly burned. I wrote them outright in a notebook without any editing.

1. Don't try to sneak things under the table, good or bad. Say it outright. Be clear. Being cryptic might feel clever and witty but it's manipulative and people can see that.
2. Be aware that people can see in you the kind of things you can see in others. They can tell when you are angry or upset - don't try to cloak hurtful messages. It's passive aggressive.
3. Be kind to yourself. Punishing yourself first does not protect you. It's like crying out 'Don't hurt me! I'm too fragile! I'm pathetic!'. It's pathetic and won't make people like you. Like yourself. The rest will follow.
4. Don't give unsolicited advice or opinions on people's personal business.
5. Being mean and cruel is not cool. It's a version of 'Don't hurt me! I'm pathetic!' dressed up as 'I'll hurt you first and you can't hurt me.' People get hurt unintentionally even though you are just trying to protect yourself. 
6. Be in control. Drinking until you are paralytic and trying to absolve yourself of responsibility - 'look how hurt I am, I have to drink to let it all out and it's not my fault'. Then you feel shit and need forgiveness. Not worth it. It doesn't work. 
7. Be kind to your future self. She would like her lunch ready, her room tidy, her bills paid, her clothes clean and her debt paid off. That would be super nice. Be kind to her first of all, it will leave some space for her to be kind to others (she'd also like to not have a hangover). 
8. Don't force people to share. They have their own ways of dealing with life which are not anything to do with you. 

*More and more I think of the experience of any mental health problem or trauma as a journey, particularly as I interact with friends and other sufferers more. Sometimes I am shocked to find how early a friend is on their journey - and you can't just reach back and pull them up. You're in different eras, different culture and language, and you can't time travel. The farther away you are from someone else on that journey timeline, the harder it is to relate to the world that they're in and to reach out and help them. But I try to remember dimly the dark places and speak the language.  We might often fall way back on the journey and the situation is reversed, or make temporary leaps forward.